William Lynch, Will Sex Coach Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: Ī.E. It all just starts with honest communication and an adventuresome spirit! When providing this list to clients, go through the list with them to ensure they know what each item is-the only thing worse than jumping into something new is signing up for something you don’t understand (Anyone who’s ever signed a home security system contract knows this all too well)! For example, does your client know all of these terms: anal plug, prostate massage, bondage tape, rimming, pet play, cunnilingus, hot wax, nipple clamps, or sounding?Įducation is key to practicing risk-aware consensual kink. Shibari.ph National Coalition for Sexual. , the go-to test for seeing where you might fit in. Extreme Kinks extreme kinks and risky sexual practices. BDSM Kinks moderate or more extreme sex acts that incorporate aspects of BDSM. Vanilla Kinks mild sexual kinks that most partners are happy to try. In this blog post, we’ll explore the purpose. Other BDSM Links Fetlife, kinky social networking. This list is split into 3 sections: Vanilla Kinks, BDSM Kinks, and Extreme Kinks. If they’ve already begun exploring kink, step right up to a hardcore list. A well-crafted BDSM kink checklist can be your guide, helping you navigate and communicate your desires, boundaries, and limits with confidence. For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list. There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way.

All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. Hard limits are the kink activities you definitely won’t do. You’re not enthusiastic about it, and you might move it into the hard limit category later, but it’s not a firm no yet. Soft limits are the kink activities you’re not really sure about but might be willing to try. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In general, we refer to limits in two ways: soft and hard.

In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist!

A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life.

Bdsm kink interactive checklist